Today I’m away with the fairies thanks to insomnia.
Three and a half hours of treasured sleep, but alas not in one go.
Insomnia is a fairly new addition to my medical catalogue, and is a cheeky little bugger keeping me on my toes because it isn’t consistent.
It can strike without an evening caffeine or alcohol hit, or when I’m as relaxed as my snoring pets. Avoiding late night meals, taking warm soaking baths, opening my window and plenty of dog walking knackering myself out make no difference.
Nor does popping an herbal sleep tablet, or two.
Insomnia simply jumps up and down on my bed poking out its tongue, shouting “nar nar ne nar nar”.
So, what do I do? What do we all do? We delve online for a ‘spot’ of ‘healthy’ research only to become victims of information overload making us either unwitting experts torn in self-diagnosis or helpless hypochondriacs.
Besides it’s pointless because I know what’s keeping me up – my muscles as they ache and spasm. Joint Hypermobility Syndrome does that; I’m a sufferer. And according to the results of the 2012 Great British Sleep Survey I’m not alone. Bodily discomfort is the number one cause of the insomnia experienced by people in the survey.
And what are we most likely to be thinking about as we’re lying there inspecting the coving and cracks on our collective bedroom ceilings? What we need to do tomorrow, of course, and getting stressed because we’re going to have to face it in only two hours feeling like a bus has hit us.
Yorkshire, the North West, East of England, West Midlands and the South West all share the dubious title of worst sleepers in the UK, according to the survey.
Women are worse sleepers than men (listening to their elephant snoring no doubt), and the older you get your sleep quality decreases.
So that’s me screwed then on all counts.
There’s one thing I haven’t yet tried however. My final weapon under the pillow, in utter desperation, will be reading Wikipedia’s excellent but long, medicinally detailed explanation of insomnia. Lots and lots of long words and stuff guaranteed to knock one out.